Big freaking sigh!

I was checking out my Webalizer and I noticed on my list of “Top Referrers” this address http://undergroundmine.com/GothMP3s.htm. If you clicked on it you will see it a Goth themed link site with the first listing a mention of “Liberata Me“,? that movie I did for Pearry Teo, the now big time movie director/producer. I love the wording on the site… they called the video amazing. I think I can take that as a compliment.

But, as I browse around at what others in the Indie Film world are doing, I can’t help but think… maybe “Clever” isn’t the way to go.

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Yeah… No…

That was a really nice post last week wasn’t it? Full of optimism and promise… reality, I’m afraid is nothing like that.

I dropped the Film Appreciation class… for several reasons. The bullshit reasons are that there was only 2 seniors who enrolled, and I was basing the class off of a curriculum being taught in New York that was 5 days a week and seniors only. Only having 2 days a week, and a bunch of freshmen in the class would have been difficult … especially since I have no idea how to be a teacher. But beyond that, I don’t think I know anything… or at least enough to be teaching other people. I like to watch movies and think about movies… but let’s be realistic here. I really don’t know shit. I’m kinda tired of people thinking that I know all this stuff about film just because I talk a lot of shit and I have some ideas.

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I think I’m ok today.

I was thinking today and I realized that I need to find a way to stay positive in my life if I ever expect to get this film finished. I deffinately have a tendancy to defeat myself by falling into a pattern of negativity. And the worst part is that I feel comfortable in that state. It becomes and excuse for everything that I don’t accomplish. And while it is ture that I’m not accomplishing things because I am in that state, the fact that I can’t control my emotional state is really no excuse for not getting things done. I need to learn how to force the part of my mind that is pro-active, positive, adventurous, outgoing, and productive, to overpower my emotional weakness for depression, anxiety, apathy, and hopelessness.

I think I need a muse.

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Late night double feature

The first official production day of Awake went well, actually. And we learned a couple of things too. I learned that everyone who is involved with this project is committed to it. I learned that perhaps i really can trust people to help me out with this. I also leanred again that Randy is a movie Ninja and I should have known better then to doubt him. We have the right cast, the right gear, and the right crew to do this movie. I feel much better today then I did yesterday. I will work to keep these good feelings throughout the project, as we deffinately still have a lot of kinks to work out.. for example, we didn’t finish until 5 am last night. lol

So it begins…

In a reletive antithetic flash of inspiration, it seems we are actually going to be “beginning” production on Awake tomarrow….

For those of you who have kept up on the events of this blog, you might have expected something bigger, perhaps some flashing text or bold text with multiple colors, or invitations for people to be extras or crew or something more then a non-chalant “by-the-way” sort of the statement.

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“Awake” Update

I think some of you might remember a time when I had talked about trying to make a movie? A feature film, about our debaucherous information age? Sound familiar? I think it was called awake.. something? I think I recall mentioning that?I had been working on this project for several years now. I might have even voiced some aggervation that it was not going anywhere. Anyone recall any aggervation on this site? Maybe some frustration? No?

Ok ok ok… so I’m being fatuous.

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What day is it again?!

How is it possible that it is already the 20th??

This months has flown by since my last post. Wow, well, I have been busy trying to get everything ready for the start of production July 10th. Sarah and I have met with the lead actors and raided their closets for their wardrobe. In addition, we have Buffalo Exchange behind us, allowing us to borrow the remaining costumes. Locations are coming around, we have a couple confirmed and a couple still up in the air. But with Randy’s help, we should be able to get everything together.

The weekend I leave for a week and a half in California, first Oceanside for a week, and then a weekend in LA, and this time I’m not gonna get my car toed! Anyway, I’m looking forward to a relaxing and productive week away from Tucson.

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